We are only given so many years to walk this earth and my youth is almost over. This fact is petrifying. Ever since I was little I had a picture of how life would be when I was older. When I pictured older I pictured a 16 year old in high school; I never imagined life beyond that. When I was young I imagined turning 16 and getting my car. I imagined have a perfect boyfriend and a pink convertible. I imagined being popular and everything was perfect. Boy did I have an imagination for a five year old. Well as I grew I realized I didn’t want a pink convertible, I wanted a yellow chevy cavalier. I didn’t want to be popular, I wanted a close group of friends. I was wrong about the boys they have been nothing but headaches.
Over time my imagination became an alternative reality. That is why I am not afraid to say I have no idea were I see myself in another 10 years because my ideas will just change in the future.
However it’s scary to think how fast the last 16 years have passed by. One more year and I’ll be on my own. I won’t rely on my parents anymore. I won’t need permission to go out and I won’t have to worry about punishment. On the other hand I won’t have my mom to run to when I am crying my eyes out and I won’t get to spend every weekend with my dad. Things will change and everything will be different.
With two days until I take my senior pictures I have realized that this is it; this is the year I have imagined since I was young. I will go to prom, I will be with friends, I will go to football games, I will have senior meetings, I’ll have an open house, I will get to do the shaving cream fight I have been anticipating since the second grade, and beyond all.. I will graduate.
I never realized that I would have the stress of exams, AP classes, opening my accaptance/ rejection letters, getting scholarships, and dealing with all the responsibilities that come along with the fun.
Either way I couldn’t be more excited/ nervous for senior year. It’s what I’ve been anxious for since freshman year when 2009 ruled the school. Now it’s our turn 2012. We are going to be the people the incoming freshman admire. We are at the top. This our last year before we are freshman all over again. We have to make this year great because it’s our last one before we are off to the real world. I realized something throughout my last four years: Life isn’t about filling other people’s shoes, it’s about finding the ones that fit you.
I don’t know about the rest of 2012 but I am going to enjoy my last year to the fullest. Of course I will spend time learning who I am and ‘finding the shoes that fit me’ but end of the day I’m going to kick of my shoes and relax and when I sit back reminiscing about my senior year I know it’s going to be full of only the best memories. This is my year and I am going to enjoy it!
Like a shooting star soaring across the night sky, there are these small bursts of inspiration that spark through my body and travel through my veins. These bursts remind me so much of a shooting star because no matter how small they are or how quickly the pass by they leave you changed. These small moments impact your life in some way or other and you have to learn to savor every moment.
This is true for life in general. You have to embrace every second you are given because before you know it the moment will pass you by. Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Spend time with friends and family, go on adventures to nowhere, get lost in the universe, and always try new things. No matter how many times you fall down get right back up because when you’re down your just letting a good moment slip away.You only live once so go out there and make it worth it.
First let me state that the sun was absolutely stunning today. It was unbelievable that I could even capture its beauty.
Today was possibly the most productive day I have had in awhile. I began this summer doing absolutely nothing all day, but it was extremely necessary. After a year of hard work and stress I needed some R&R. Apparently a months worth, but hey what’s summer vacation for? :)
Anyways today I woke up and decided that today was going to be the start of all my big changes (refer to last post). I started off the day at 2 which was pretty disappointing. So I added getting 9 hours of sleep and waking ip before 12 to my list of changes.
I felt like a bum when I first woke up but I was determined that today was going to start my journey.
Before I did anything I decided I wanted to tan so I got a hour and a half in the sun. It was a fantastic start.
I came inside and worked on my first goal and that was to read 20 pages of a book (I know before I said 40 but I changed it due to everything else). Today I also cooked, ate healthy, worked out, focused on me (not boys), meditated, and now I am writing a blog to complete my days to-do list.
I can tell how much better I feel already, and it will only get better.
Starting off my new life is only the beginning of my blog. I have so much more.
There has recently been an event with a boy (tennille we need to talk about this) that has made me realize I don’t want a relationship. The only relationship I want is with myself because I am the only person who can make myself completely happy. Yes, I will eventually want a boy but not anytime soon. I have a crush on me and that’s it!
Also I have recently discovered that I am absolutely in love with John Mayer and jack johnson and their music alone takes up 22% of my iPod. I will not lie a odd thought popped in my head as I baked in the sun listening to jack johnson. That though was I may love him more than Ashton. That thought is just absurd but he is quote amazing..
I also discovered today that I inspire myself. I can’t explain this phenomenon but I motivate myself and I inspire myself that I am strong and I can do anything I put my mind to.
There was another powerful thought roaming my mind today and surprisingly it was brought on by a tv show. Today I saw a glimpse if this show called love in the wild. There was this girl who had to choose between two guys. There was this absolutely beautiful man in the competition. He was kind, sensitive, sexy, adventurous, and caring. Yet somehow the woman did not pick him. He was disappointed and left the show in sorrow and said that someday he will find somebody. I thought to myself that he was perfect and any girl would be lucky to have him. That is when I realized that the statement that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is brilliant. I thought about this for a good time and I realized that although I may not be perfect in one persons eyes, or even one hundred people’s eyes, I am somebody’s perfect, and that is true for everybody. That’s why you should bit alter yourself to be somebody’s perfect because you already are and you just don’t know it yet.
Be you because you are simply as beautiful as today’s sun was and that beyond words.
Note to tennille, now that I officially have a to-do list and writing is on it, expect posts almost everyday. Sorry this one was so long and all over the place!
I want to help change the world someday but first I need to make positive changes to myself.
To help me enrich my life I am making a summer plan. I have a list of goals I would like to complete before the end of the summer.
The first on my list is to learn how to cook. I only have one year left until I am off on my own. So it is reasonable that I should start cooking regularly now. Of course this goal is not going to be finished at the summer but learning now will help prepare me for the future.
My second goal is to make meditating a daily ritual. I have found myself meditating every night before i sleep and I would like go continue this in order to maintain an inner-peace and a healthier lifestyle.
My third goal is to lose 20 pounds. Of course this goal my be ridiculous and I may not be able to achieve it, but then again I may. The reason I want to have this goal is so I am mire health conscious. I am not going to starved myself but I will be more aware of what I am putting in my body. Instead of filling up on junk food I will make healthier choices.
My fourth goal is to stop looking for a relationship. They say that love finds you when you’re not looking so I am no longer in search. A recent conversation made me realize I need to stop focusing on relationships and better myself. I need to stop relying on guys to fill my gaps and get my fulfillment through my strength and success( which these goals will help me do). most importantly I need to stop letting guys use me.
My fifth goal is to unplug myself. I am going to limit my time on Facebook to 2 hours a day. I also want to unplug from my phone so I will not text nearly as much and most importantly I will not mass text..
My final goal is to enhance my skills in reading and writing. I will make it my goal to read 20 pages and write in my journal or type on tumblr every single day. I would also like to spend time doing research everyday to learn a little more about the world around me.
This may seem like a lot but with a strong determination I will be able to complete my goals. I believe that by completing these goals I can enhance my life and achieve a great sense of happiness.
I want to be absolutely carefree.
There are so many places to go and so many experiences to have.
I don’t want to have to wait any longer; I just want to fly.
Life has so much to offer and I am ready to break free and live.
I want to venture to the Brooklyn bridge, walk the beaches of Hawaii, and savor every moment of it.
I am getting older and although I have to say goodbye to my past I am excited to welcome the future with open arms.
I am ready for love, happiness, and freedom.
So I will indulge in every moment I am given.
Everyday is a gift and I enjoy every breathe I take.
Once upon a time I took a spaceship to a moon. A spaceship that took me far, far, away.
Once upon a time I sailed across the Atlantic ocean during a thunderstorm on just an old raft.
Once upon a time I climbed over mount everest. Stopping for nothing, not even lunch.
Once upon a time I climbed to the top of the biggest and tallest tress and watched over the entire city as their protector.
Once upon a time I cured people of illness and depression.
Somedays I was a doctor, a super hero, an adventurer, a clown, a teacher, a friend. I was everything I wanted to be, and more..
That was when I had an imagination. Now I only have dreams. Dreams are nothing without a little imagination. We have to think beyond the realities of what we know but the realities of what we wish to be.
My days of imagination seem to have passed right by me and now I am left with nothing but ambition. Ambition is great but it could never compare to imagination.
Reality is harsh but I am content. I don’t wish to be younger or older. I don’t wish to be anything other than what I am now, I just have discover what exactly that is.
My only dream now is to amount to something much greater than the world and although it’s unrealistic, I wont give up.
“Some say I am a dreamer but I’m not the only one”- so let me dream just a little longer :)
Saturday.
This is my life.
This is how i spend my time..
My futures in my hand and i am absolutely terrified..
Excuses.
Thursday I had no motivation.
Dad and I fought, and our problems couldn’t be mended.
So I slept.
Why can’t we all see that life is beautiful?
Worse of all why cant we see that we are beautiful?
Smile, laugh, love and enjoy every second of life you are given because you deserve to.
No matter who you are, or where you are from, know that you are beautiful.
Keep your chin high and smile :)
………..
………..
You are so beautiful to me.
Can’t you see?
Your everything I hoped for, your everything I need.
You are so beautiful, to me :)
About me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me.. :)
